March 2004 - Foundations Ref 314
Together and apart: Children and parents experiencing separation and
divorceConcern about divorce and separation is partly fuelled by the rise
in the divorce rate and the numbers of children affected by family
changes. There is also growing concern about the role of fathers and
the need for children to maintain a good relationship with both their
parents. Recent years have seen the development of a growing range of
services designed to help children and families experiencing these
changes.
The Joseph Rowntree Foundation has supported a collection of
research projects on children’s and parents’ experiences of separation
and divorce. These studies have examined the outcomes for children of
changes in their family circumstances, and what can help them at these
times of stress. The research reports have also looked at the
experience of separation for those who have been cohabiting as well as
those who divorce, and at the impact of separation and divorce on
fathers, as well as on mothers and children. Mavis Maclean, of the
University of Oxford, summarises this research here.
- Researchers suggest the need to see parental separation not as an
event but as a process which begins long before a parent departs and
continues throughout childhood. They stress the importance both of
making sure that children are told clearly what is happening and of
listening sensitively to what children have to say about decisions
which affect them.
- Separation for children can be particularly difficult when
followed by a number of other changes to the family setting, for
example where parents find new partners or where new children are
brought into the household.
- Financial hardship and parental distress are also associated with
continuing problems for children.
- Formal interventions need to be child-centred and available to
all on the basis of need rather than civil status. However, many
children seek better communication with and informal support from
friends and family.
- We need to move on from seeing the children of divorced and
separated parents as having an experience which is essentially
different from that of other children. All children experience a
number of transitions that can be difficult for them, and for which
they may require additional support.
- A poor relationship between the separated parents is understood
to add to the difficulties in establishing successful arrangements for
contact between the child and the non-resident parent. However, there
are also many practical issues that concern families on separation.
Considerations such as housing and working hours can also be barriers
to developing and maintaining contact
The policy landscape
In Supporting families, the first Green Paper on the family published
by the Home Office in 1998, the Government set out as its mission
statement: "The interests of children must come first". At a time of
increased incidence of separation and divorce, it is important for
parents to be able to care for their children even when they do not
share a common household, to be able to adjust to periods of lone
parenting, and to cope with new family structures when mothers and
fathers form new partnerships and other children are brought into the
household as either step- or half-siblings.
The policy goals set out in Supporting families aim to support
parents undergoing family change in a number of ways. These include
involving wider kin networks, improving advice and information
services including financial advice, seeking a better balance between
the demands of home and work, and supporting adult relationships.
Marriage is seen as the preferred setting for bringing up children
but, in the interests of the children, parenting in other settings is
to be valued and supported.
The policy landscape is changing rapidly. In September 2003 the
Government published a Green Paper, Every child matters, following the
inquiry into the death of Victoria Climbié. In his foreword, the Prime
Minister emphasises that "for most parents, our children are
everything to us". The paper proposes strengthening both universal
services, such as schools and health and social services, together
with targeted specialist services for children needing additional
support. Planned legislation will create Directors of Children’s
Services, accountable for educational and children’s services as part
of ‘children’s trusts’. A Minister for Children, Young People and
Families has been appointed, and there are proposals for a new
Children’s Commissioner. This legislation and ministerial change only
affects England; Wales already has its own Minister responsible for
children and young people and a Children’s Commissioner. The new
Minister in England is consulting on the extent to which the Green
Paper will apply to frameworks already in place.
Box 1: The figures
The divorce rate rose rapidly between the mid-1960s and mid-1990s
reaching 161,000 in 1997 and subsequently levelling out below 150,000
a year. Two-thirds of those divorcing, and an unknown but substantial
number of those who separate after living together, have children
under 16. It is more difficult to be precise about the numbers of
separating cohabitants as the end of their relationship is not
recorded in any public document. |
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The policy issues
Important policy questions have been challenging Government, voluntary
organisations and those working with families. These are:
- Are children negatively affected by separation or divorce; if so,
which groups of children?
- It is generally agreed that it is important for children to
maintain their relationship with both parents. But, how important is
it that a non-resident parent has contact with their children when
this is not welcomed by the parent with care nor by the children, or
where there are questions about inadequate parenting or domestic
violence?
- How should we support parents both before and after they split up
in their parenting roles and in dealing with the problems of parenting
after divorce?
- How can such help be best delivered to parents and children?
Box 2: A focus on family change
Divorce or separation is only one of a number of changes to their
family life which children undergo. New partners for either parent may
have children already. There may be children from a new relationship,
and there may be subsequent separations and other new partners. It is
clear that multiple transitions, however well-handled, are difficult
for a child to cope with. Interventions by Government or professionals
can no longer focus on a single event, but need to support children
throughout the many changes which take place in the course of family
life. |
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Box 3: Recent policy developments
Attempts to encourage widespread use of mediation in divorce though
the Family Law Act of 1996 failed. Subsequent government responses
have been to pilot the idea of a ‘one-stop shop’ for advice. The
Family Advice and Information Network (FAIN) will initially be based
in solicitors’ offices. In addition, the Government has tried to
strengthen the Children and Families Courts Advice and Support
Services (CAFCASS), to make it a broad-ranging advice service not
focusing solely on divorce or other disputes. However, this has not
yet been considered to be successful. Moving CAFCASS from the former
Lord Chancellor’s Department to the Department for Education and
Skills may be helpful |
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Findings from the JRF Programme
The findings from JRF research in this area throw light on these
policy areas, and in particular on what needs to be considered in
helping parents and children at times of family change.
Helping children
- At least one in three children will experience parental separation
before the age of 16. Most of these children go through a period of
unhappiness; many experience low self-esteem, behaviour problems, and
loss of contact with part of the extended family. Children are usually
helped by good communication with both parents, and most settle back
into a normal pattern of development (Rodgers and Pryor, 1998; Dunn
and Deater-Deckard, 2001). However, a small minority experience
continued problems; sometimes these problems - including poorer
employment prospects and family disruption - continue into adulthood.
The factors thought to be associated with increased risk of poor
outcomes following divorce and separation include financial hardship,
high levels of parental distress, and experiencing more than one set
of changes in family circumstances. For example, separation may be
followed by a new relationship for either parent, which may in turn be
followed by new step-siblings and by the birth of half-siblings to the
child’s parent and his or her new partner. These new partnerships may
also end in separation; subsequently either parent may embark on a
further new relationship involving step- or half-siblings.
- The quality of relationships between parents and children and
between parents themselves is important in helping children adjust to
life after separation (Hawthorne et al., 2003). Children also need to
be informed of and involved in decisions about what happens in the
family (Dunn and Deater-Deckard, 2001).
- Becoming part of a step-family seems to be helpful for younger
children but to be harder for older children to adapt to (Hawthorne et
al., 2003). Older children seem to appreciate step-parents more when
they act in a supportive and friendly way rather than being involved
in discipline or control.
- Wider kin networks, especially grandparents, can play an important
part in supporting children and grandchildren around the time of
separation (Perry et al., 2000; Dunn and Deater-Deckard, 2001). They
are an additional resource when one parent is absent and the other is
upset, and can communicate with their grandchildren while supporting
their own child.
- Many of the researchers found that children had a range of
different ways of coping and of needs for support and communication,
which may be met in different ways (Hawthorne et al., 2003; James and
Sturgeon-Adams, 1999; Trinder et al., 2002; Wade and Smart, 2002;
Wilson and Edwards, 2003).
- Some children and parents need informal or professional help
(Rodgers and Pryor, 1998; Dunn and Deater-Deckard, 2001; Hawthorne et
al., 2003). In providing that help to children, we need to focus on
the child’s view of the world rather than being preoccupied by the
breakdown in the parents’ relationships as partners. We need also to
be aware that - as well as parents - grandparents and friends are key
figures for children (Dunn and Deater-Deckard, 2001).
- Services for children need careful evaluation to determine their
effectiveness in supporting both children and their families and in
promoting children’s short-, medium- or longer-term wellbeing
(Hawthorne et al., 2003; Wilson and Edwards, 2003; James and
Sturgeon-Adams, 1999). Most studies to date have focused on children’s
and parents’ satisfaction with services. There is a difference between
a popular service, appreciated by the client, and an effective
service, which leads to a measurable improvement in outcomes.
- Some studies have demonstrated that working directly with parents
can be effective. Some children valued school-based services, which
have the advantage of being available to all school-age children.
Others, however, did not want to discuss their family situation in
school, preferring to keep a clear distance between their home and
school lives (Wilson and Edwards, 2003; Hawthorne et al., 2003).
- Leaflets are often of high quality, but children may not use
them. Newer communication techniques, such as websites and CD-ROMs,
are being developed but, again, these are not widely used by children
(Hawthorne et al., 2003).
Helping parents
Practical issues:
- At the time of separating, parents worry about practical matters
such as housing and housekeeping rather than about more technical
legal issues. They need practical as well as technical legal advice
(Perry et al., 2000).
- Fathers face difficulties in organising contact when they have
long or irregular working hours and accommodation which is not
suitable for extended visits. Providing sufficient space to allow both
parents to offer reasonable comfort on overnight stays for the
children requires considerable resources (Lewis et al., 2002; Wade and
Smart, 2002).
- Both parents may misunderstand the law on dividing assets and on
paternal responsibility when a cohabiting relationship ends (Wade and
Smart, 2002; Perry et al., 2000; Pickford, 1999).
Emotional issues:
- Parenting problems after separation are often related to the reasons
for ending the relationship, particularly in cases of domestic
violence, rather than to whether the separation followed marriage or
living together (Wade and Smart, 2002).
- Working together as parents is hard where there is conflict in a
relationship and even harder after separation or divorce. Arranging
contact between the children and the non-resident parent requires a
sustained effort by both parents. Non-resident parents must accept
that their role has changed from when they shared a home with the
child’s; parents with care must accept that they need to actively
facilitate contact arrangements, even if their own relationship with
their former partner is not amicable (Trinder et al., 2002). Contact
can be so conflicted that we may need to accept it may sometimes be
necessary for the parents to go their separate ways at least for the
time being (Trinder et al., 2002).
Fathers:
- There is public support for the move to conferring parental
responsibility on fathers who are not married to the mother of their
child but who register the birth of their child together (Pickford,
1999).
- Mothers can express strong feelings about the perceived
immaturity of men as a cause of separation and about what they see as
their own special role (Lewis et al., 2002). However, men’s views on
this can differ from those of mothers. (Wade and Smart, 2002; Lewis et
al., 2002).
- Even where men have been closely involved with the child before
separation they tend to become distant afterwards (Lewis et al., 2002;
Buchanan et al., forthcoming).
- Fatherhood involves elements of accessibility, availability and
responsibility. There is a pressing need to understand the difference
between an adult-centred view of fathering and a child-centred view.
Conclusion
Key observations made by the researchers throughout the programme
suggest the following:
- There is a need to see parental separation not as an event but as
a process, beginning long before the actual departure of one parent
and continuing throughout childhood. This experience is difficult for
all, but particularly so for those families where other difficulties
already exist. These might include financial difficulties or acute or
prolonged parental conflict or distress. For children, separation is
also particularly difficult when it is followed by a number of other
changes to the family setting: for example, where parents find new
partners, where new relationships with step- or half-siblings are
involved, and where serial subsequent separations take place and
serial new partnerships form. There seems to be a limit to the amount
of change a child can cope with. This may be due to individuals’
ability to withstand stress. But it may also be that such a high
degree of change is likely to cause parents further stress: this may
impair their relationship with the child, at least temporarily.
- As serial partnerships become more common, we need to move on
from categorising the children of divorced and separated parents as
having an experience which is essentially different from that of other
children. It is time to recognise that all children can be expected to
undergo a number of transitions in their family circumstances. We need
to ensure that informal support from friends and relations is
supplemented by easily accessible formal interventions to support
those in particular need.
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Box 4: Further research
The programme suggests we need to understand more about:
- Which children need help and what kind of help they want.
- How effectively services support children and their families and
promote children’s short-, medium- or longer-term wellbeing.
- The relationship between short-term distress and long-term
outcomes.
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- Formal interventions need to be child-centred and available to
all, working through schools and through parents, on the basis of need
rather than the civil status of the parents. Children’s direct access
to services – without being dependent on their parents for access –
also needs further examination. The Green Paper, Every child matters
(September 2003), highlights the provision of social and emotional
support through the education system so as to offer a universal,
non-stigmatised support service to all children as they experience a
variety of personal stresses throughout their childhood. This may
offer an opportunity to take forward this strategy.
- Children have very diverse experiences: in designing services for
them, one size will not fit all. We need to communicate with children
and young people, taking account of their perspectives on what forms
of support (both formal and informal) they would benefit from. There
is also a need to distinguish between keeping children informed of
what is happening in their lives, involving them in decision-making,
and providing them with appropriate support.
About this Foundations
This Foundations was written by Mavis Maclean, Director of the Oxford
Centre for Family Law and Policy in the Department of Social Policy
and Social Work, University of Oxford.
This programme of research into the experience of children and
parents of separation and divorce draws on a variety of methods. These
include a systematic review of published work (Rodgers and Pryor,
1998; Hawthorne et al., 2003), large-scale quantitative work (Dunn and
Deater-Deckard, 2001), smaller qualitative studies which both raise
questions and enrich understanding of the statistical big picture (Pickford,
1999; Smart and Stephens, 2000; Lewis et al. 2002; Wade and Smart,
2002; Trinder et al., 2002) and reviews of current service provision
(Wilson and Edwards, 2003; Hawthorne et al., 2003)
How to get further information
The following reports are available from York Publishing Services Ltd,
64 Hallfield Road, York YO31 7ZQ, Tel: 01904 430033, Fax: 01904
430868, or through this website. Where indicated, pdfs are available for download free of charge from
the website.
Where indicated, a four-page summary of the
Findings of the study is available from the Foundation, via
this site or in
print form by calling 01904 615905 or emailing
publications@jrf.org.uk.
Buchanan, Ann, Eirini Flouri and Jane Lewis (forthcoming),
Fathers’
involvement: A study of resident and non-resident fathers with teenage
children.
Dunn, Judy and Kirby Deater-Deckard (2001),
Children’s views of
their changing families, YPS/JRF (£10.95), ‘Children’s views of their
changing families’,
Findings No. 931.
Hawthorne, Joanna, Julie Jessop, Jan Pryor and Martin Richards
(2003), Supporting children through family change: A review of
interventions and services for children of divorcing and separating
parents, YPS/JRF (£16.95; free pdf available), ‘Supporting children
through family change: a review of services’,
Findings No. 323.
James, Adrian and Louise Sturgeon-Adams (1999),
Helping families
after divorce: Assistance by order?, The Policy Press/JRF (£10.95; no
longer available from YPS, contact The Policy Press: 0117 331 4054,
tpp@bristol.ac.uk), ‘The use of Family Assistance Orders in divorce
and separation cases’,
Findings No. 579.
Lewis, Charlie, Amalia Papacosta and Jo Warin (2002),
Cohabitation,
separation and fatherhood, YPS/JRF (£13.95), ‘Cohabitation, separation
and fatherhood’,
Findings No. 552.
Perry, Alison, Gillian Douglas, Mervyn Murch, Kay Bader and
Margaret Borkowski (2000), How families cope financially on marriage
breakdown, Family Policy Studies Centre/JRF (£10.95; no longer
available through YPS, contact JRF publications office: 01904 615905,
publications@jrf.org.uk). ‘How parents cope financially on marriage
breakdown’, Findings No. 480.
Pickford, Ros (1999), Fathers, marriage and the law, Family Policy
Studies Centre/JRF (£10.95), ‘Fathers, marriage and the law’,
Findings
No. 989.
Rodgers, Bryan and Jan Pryor (1998), Divorce and separation: The
outcomes for children, JRF (£11.95). ‘Divorce and separation: the
outcomes for children’,
Foundations No. 6108.
Smart, Carol and Pippa Stephens (2000),
Cohabitation breakdown,
Family Policy Studies Centre/JRF (£12.95), ‘Cohabiting parents’
experience of relationships and separation’,
Findings No. 460.
Trinder, Liz, Mary Beek and Jo Connolly (2002),
Making contact: How
parents and children negotiate and experience contact after divorce, YPS/JRF (£12.95; free pdf available), ‘Children’s and parents’
experience of contact after divorce’,
Findings No. 092.
Wade, Amanda and Carol Smart (2002), Facing family change:
Children’s circumstances, strategies and resources, YPS/JRF (£12.95;
free pdf available), ‘How primary school children cope with family
change’, Findings No. 772.
Wilson, Anji and Janet Edwards with Susie Allen and Carol Dasgupta
(2003), Schools and family change: School-based support for children
experiencing divorce and separation, JRF (£13.95; free pdf available),
‘School-based support work for children whose parents have separated’,
Findings Ref: 433.
Other references
DfES (2003), Every child matters, The Stationery Office.
Home Office (1998), Supporting families, The Stationery Office.
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